So today I want to talk
about marriage.
Not
high on my set of goals in life, but then again being a 19 year old university
student miserably failing her French modules probably really affects my
opinion.
Nevertheless,
it's a matter that's been on my mind since a cousin of mine recently got
engaged, the feminist lecture I sat in on last month and then hearing the
phrase "marriage is a form of prostitution". So let me get out my
thoughts on this wonderful blog of mine and avoid learning French conjugation
eh?
The
definition of prostitution according to oxforddictionaries.com is "the
unworthy or corrupt use of one's talents for personal or financial gain".
It can apply to marriage in many ways, for example if you have no sustainable
income of your own, maybe your husband is just a tool used for financial forms
and your relationship consists of using your talents as a housewife, or cook to
keep your husband happy and have access to his funds. But in my opinion it's
all about mental respect. If your husband/wife respects you and treats you as
their equal there isn't anything "unworthy or corrupt" about your
talents. And surely you aren't gaining anything out of it either because
marriage should not be about financial gains but it can often come down to it.
I'm confusing myself a little here. What I'm saying is that a form of prostitution in marriage can only exist if you allow yourself to be unequal to your partner regardless of if you're male or female. To a certain point I agree with this statement, because everywhere around me all I see is marriage as a dead end without and escape route. People are stuck in it because of financial reasons, or because of emotional ones (i.e. children). I guess I just have to see more successful marriages built on love that seems to last (that last bit made my insides cringe a little), on mutual agreements and respect.
Maybe
after thinking about this I'm not all opposed to marriage. Marriages shouldn't
have a hierarchy but that often tends to be the case and sadly it often seems
to work out. I guess a marriage is really what you make of it. I am the quietly
stubborn kind of person who wouldn't be satisfied if I didn't get the respect I
deserved and be infuriated if I wasn't an equal in any sort of personal
relationship. So if marriage really is a "form of prostitution" it
isn't for me and all those other individuals who have the same views as me.
Just
some thoughts from a hesitant borderline feminist. Feel free to agree/disagree
in the comments section (if I've got one!)
À bientôt.
