The Problems of being Painstakingly Average

So you're painstakingly average too? Oh boy doesn't it suck. Not being the funny one, or the pretty one, or even the clever one. Life really isn't going in our favour is it?

Well at least not how you expected it to turn out. Because you always do think that things will be better as you grow older. You'll be beautiful, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly but two years have passed and you're still the same person, wishing you'd be better.

Maybe that's just life. You get those who will always be the butterflies among us petty little caterpillars. Sucks doesn't it? I mean there's nothing you can really do to make yourself funnier, it just happens. And unless you have an extortionate amount of money I doubt you can really make yourself beautiful. 

That's about all I wanted to say really. How much it sucks to be average.  

Revolutions, helplessness and other antics

I don't what it is about today but I just feel angry and sad and a little bit violent. Kind of sounds like the symptoms of depression. Don't worry, my job hasn't made me lose the will to live just yet. I'll see about that in a couple more weeks. 

I just feel like things aren't right. I feel so helpless and unable to do anything in relation to the topics I care about. Let me give you a few examples: 

- The current Syrian situation and how Britain can even contemplate going into Syria. Has history taught you nothing Cameron? Maybe the saying is true, that history does repeat itself because fools do not notice the patterns. 

- The continuous disrespect of the humanities in today's society. Because science clearly outweighs the humanities in importance. I am sick of hearing about things like new technology that can enable you to control someone else's actions through your thoughts. It's only a matter of time until that technology is going to be misused and no one else seems to care enough about this. I understand the importance of science. I know, being a History student, the fundamental role that Chemistry has in our lives from the materials around us to the sub-shells in an atom that allows it to have its functions. But why is it that History has become a dying art? History sculpts your mind in the best of ways, allowing you to think in unique way. 

But it's much more than just those two things. It's anger over poverty, the impacts of consumerism, greed, lack of morality and all these other matters. I guess it's just one of those days right? 

I just want to start a revolution on days like this. I want to join a march for something that counts, I want to stand up for what I believe in.

Alas, so lost am I in my thoughts I forget the coward that I am and the metaphorical cage that I trap myself in. I come up with excuses as to why I am helpless to do anything. I think of my bank balance, which is currently at a great big 0. 

And I come to the conclusion that maybe I am unable to do anything. Maybe it's not time yet. Maybe this just isn't my role in the world.

I imagine this is how all potential revolutionists die inside a young person.

Here I am, complaining, letting my inner revolutionist wither, as I think oh well, I feel like having a piece of red velvet cake. 

Belief

Oddly enough I've been thinking about a higher power of some sort a lot recently; odd because this is never a topic I like to dwell into a lot. It leads to a nasty spiral in my twisted mind where I go from belief to the meaning of life to inevitably ending up at a point where I begin to wonder about my existence on earth and how indescribably insignificant the impact of my existence has been. Although may I add, not in a suicidal way, just in a 'losing all hope, why am I even doing anything when I will amount to doing nothing in the eyes of the world' manner. We all have our moments.

Whilst I am a follower of the Jain way of life, I find that religion makes me feel guilty. Religion makes a lot of people feel guilty. Maybe that's the ultimate role of religion and even the idea of a higher existence...to make you feel conscious about your actions and thoughts. Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad in any way because more often than not I have recently been feeling that I need to be reminded about my morals. Morals keep me grounded, and personally my morals are the strongest when I am around my parents who often remind me of right and wrong.

Here is what I have concluded over my summer of being mostly isolated of all decent company (no, my parents and little brother do not count). The thing is about being so withdrawn is that you begin to think a lot more. People's thoughts affect you a lot less and frankly after my numerous incidences in the past year, which I shall not get into, it is just what I need.

Sorry, I've just gone off topic. I believe. That is what I have concluded. I think everyone needs a bit of belief in their life. Everyone needs a higher power to look up to when life does not turn out how you expect it to. Belief in that higher power, whether it is science or God, is what keeps us going in our times of hardship. Even thought you do not realize it, religion becomes a part of you.

It is good that religion makes you feel conscious of your actions. Of course I am not referring to extremism, or supporting homophobia. I am talking about how a higher power can make you a better person because you want to do more good. And I hate it when people are so adamantly against religion because surely anything that often provokes a person to change for the better and do good in the world is something to support. A higher power is something which I cannot avoid. There must be something greater than the human race out there which controls the fate of our actions. A puppeteer to the puppets would be a cynical way to look at this. But you get what I mean. I don't know if it is Allah, or God or simply an invisible force which has no consciousness. I just know that the universe is big and ever expanding, and there has to be something out there.

I think that belief in anything is brilliant. My crisis now is what I believe in. 

Apivita express beauty with orange review

Oh look it's the return of Face Mask Fridays! I know, exciting times.

So this week I popped into the huge Marble Arch M&S near work and saw face masks on offer for £2.40 so obviously I couldn't resist myself. It was a double wammy, face masks on sale hit me hard. 

As I've probably said before my skin is normal, it never gets very oily nor dry unless it's winter or I've used a bad face wash. That's why I find it so hard to pick face masks because there are so many for oily skin. Because I'm such a little dare devil I went with orange, it's been a while and I've never seen a face mask with orange oil before.

As per usual, here's a picture:

I was expecting good things from this packet mostly because it looked fancy and it was from the one and only Marks and Spencers. It also said that it was paraben free at the back and I've found that products without parabens/SLSs have a better affect on my skin and hair than other products.

It all started out well as I applied the face mask because it smelt really fresh and refreshing. In an odd way it reminded me of the refreshers sweets in a good way. The minute the mixture hit my skin I could feel the tingling. Personally I love it when I can feel something because it shows that the face mask is actually doing something to my face.

I quote, the orange essential oil is supposed to 'tone and moisturise leaving skin with a natural glow and radiance'. After about ten minutes I started washing off the mask. This was an aspect I absolutely hated because the face mask was so hard to wash off due to its oiliness.

Eventually when I took off the mask I could see that the effect was not what I hoped it would be. The mask made bumps on skin more prominent and my skin felt a lot skin drier after washing it off. I expected this face mask to make my skin softer and clearer but it did not achieve that.

Therefore this FMF will be given a 1.5/5.

Good thing it smelt so nice and I'm easily won over like that.

Just give me something that smells good and tastes nice and I'm yours. Seriously. If you ever want to woo me, all you have to do as you see me busting a move on the dance floor of a club is come up to me and say these exact words:

"Want to grab a pizza and maybe a slice of cake?"

I swear I will look at you like you are Ryan Gosling and worship you for your wise words. 

There we go, a FMF that was on time and tips on how to get me to fall into your arms.

Until the next time sports fans. 

Finally a working woman?

Hey there,

I would just like to apologize for the absence of Face Mask Fridays for the last two weeks. The thing is, an unexpected event has finally occurred; someone has finally had the good fortune of hiring me. Gosh, about time right?

No, I'm just kidding. It was a combination of applying for roughly 100 jobs and that tad bit of luck. I should be grateful for the fact that I'm being paid by this chain store (I'll just leave it to that, I don't know if I'm really allowed to mention where I work because I might have put my blog down on my cv. I know, it's slim pickings). 

Obviously being the poor broke little thing that I am I accepted. But oh woe, the fates were not on my side. A couple of hours later I got an offer for an interview at a corporate bank and a job offer for an internship. Now I feel like a douche working at a chain store straightening up shelves and asking customers if they want a bag with their shopping. 

I hate not being able to use my brain and doing the same mind-numbingly boring tasks every day that require no skill at all for eight hours straight. Especially when I finish at 11pm.

So there you have it. The reason for a lapse in FMF (a little abbreviation always helps matters). 

I'm finally a kind of working woman. Except I'm not sure I like it. I hate how rude the customers are, I hate not being appreciated, I hate not being able to use my brain. But I mostly hate how I know I could do better than this, because as arrogant as it may sound to some I have complete faith in my abilities and I know that I shouldn't be in this dead-end job that eventually kills all hope and ambition you have. 

Maybe it's because this job is not for me and I need to be at a place where I can think, be able to input my thoughts and have control. 

I'm just glad I have to endure only five more weeks of this monotonous lifestyle.

I am pretty sure if this carried on for any longer I may have had to abandon all my feminist principles and just marry a rich man so I wouldn't have to work. 

Let's leave my complaining to that shall we? I will of course try to do a FMF post the coming week, because a girl needs a treat every now and again. 

Don't forget to be awesome.

Honey & Oat 3 In 1 Scrub Mask by The Body Shop review

Bonsoir the part of the internet that's into face masks,

As promised in my past review, I am going to be reviewing TBS's hit product, 3-in-1 Honey and Oat scrub mask. Now let me tell you I was very very excited about trying this product out, mostly because I gave it a sniff last week and it smelt heavenly. I was interested to see if the product would really be worth its retail value of £10.00 for 100ml. Most Body Shop products I have encountered have actually been worth what I paid for them, like the body mists, which smell wunderfullll and don't run out for a good six months. 

Now here is what the product looks like on the shelves if any of you have severe difficulties in locating it and/or are merely interested in the packaging:

Very good. Now let us move on to the glory that is held inside this pot. The texture of this face mask was unusual. It was a smooth creamy mixture with some gritty bits in. You know, to make it seem natural and exfoliating. Did you know you could put sand in a body wash/face mask and you'd have the exact same exfoliating result, if not better? 

So the first thing I noticed was the gorgeous smell of the mixture (which I've mentioned like five times already). It was an amazingly sweet yet natural fragrance. The whole product seemed to scream natural at the top of its lungs. In fact I must have awarded it 2 out of 5 in my head just for the smell regardless if it gave me rashes or not. I just thought to myself, even if I do get dry skin and spots everywhere, boy there would be no better smelling way of doing it.

As I put it on I felt a cool sensation and hoped that the mask was really going to be worth it. Surprisingly, it was. I took it off after 10-15 minutes and not only did my face smell lovely, my skin actually looked cleaner and shinier, in the good way, like I had a healthy glow or something. Dead impressed, well done The Body Shop! Unfortunately all good things must come to an end so the effect of the mask did not last long but none the less, it was lovely to go around for a day with my skin looking as it did (i.e. slightly improved).

Overall, 4/5. Smelt amazing. Loved the natural feel of the product and the fact that it actually brought good results. However, the price was too high for me. Maybe it does bring mega results after long term use but honestly, £10 is a good roast, drink and dessert at 'Spoons. And I'm the kind of girl who chooses to get fat over good skin. Aw yeah. 

P.s. Any French readers, can you tell me how to say 'aw yeah' in French? If there is such a saying for that in French. If not, don't worry, I'll improvise and put a French accent on while saying 'aw yeah'. Yes, I know, I am terrible. 

A plus tard.

Garnier Pure Sauna Self-Heating Mask Review

Hello there,

Yes, it is in fact a Sunday, but let's go ahead with the Face Mask Friday thing. Because it's catchier than Face Mask Sunday right? And I'm all about the alliteration. I should make that a theme too, "All About Alliterations" and start posting up cool alliterations. Except no one will read it. Moving on, my apologies for making this two days late. I was preparing for an interview and dragged to Oxford Street with my mother only to spend three hours in Marks and Spencer wondering what my life had come to.

The mocking, sorry reviewing, of today's product is based around Ganier's Self-Heating mask. All jokes aside, I will refrain from mocking, and try to 'tell it as it is' - after all how many other ways are there of telling 'it'? Go on, give us a ball park figure politicians (like they'd be reading this blog, I mean look at their pores).

I picked up the face mask at Boots, mostly because it was £0.85 for two 6ml sachets which was the cheapest face mask I had brought yet. Considering this was produced from quite a known brand it seemed like excellent value for money. For all you animal lovers, unlike The Body Shop or Superdrug Tea Tree products it had no guarantee against animal testing. It also looked highly professional and because I could never in the next three years afford to go to the spa I very much liked the sauna aspect. Now to make my room steamy and get someone with a Russian accent doing my face mask. At least that's how I imagine spas work.

Before I spread this face mask onto my face the smell hit me. It smelt like a Garnier face wash I had tried out a couple of years ago. It isn't a bad smell, more of a raw but fresh cosmetics smell. However I am concerned that what if all the Garnier products have the same signature smell? Let me just give you a piece of advice if you're starting a cosmetics company: if you want your products to have the same notable smell, do not make it smell like Garnier's face mask. I want the products that I apply to my body smelling nice, hence why I spend a fortune at The Body Shop. Nevertheless I applied to concoction to my face, and surprisingly enough as I massaged it around my face I could actually feel it heating up my skin. I then removed it after five minutes (despite the packaging saying three minutes). It hadn't hardened or anything but was still in it's liquid form.

My skin felt drier after the ordeal and two days later and my skin no longer felt fresh like it did on the day of the face mask despite a promise for skin to feel purified "for up to 7 days". Luckily it also didn't feel as dry either. I guess you can't get it all huh?

It'll be a 1.5/5.

Marks deducted for the smell, how the effect wore off, the dryness, and how there wasn't as much of an effect as I thought there would be. It didn't make my face as clearer as some of the other products I've tried but good affordability and definitely for those with oily skin.

Anyway that is all the juice I can give you on face masks this week. Next week I'll try out the Honey and Oat Scrub Mask from The Body Shop. I've been wanting to try this out for a long time but the £10 price tag attached to it scared the poor student inside me. I happened be in a luck and met a lovely lovely lady from a store in London who gave me free samples of two face masks so I could figure out whether I liked them or not.

I'll mix it up a little next week and try to post about something that is not about face masks, as well as continuing with Face Mask Fridays (yes, really, it will be on a Friday this time, Sunday shall be used as God intended it to, for rest, video games and eating fatty food without regrets).

À bientôt.  

Is marriage a form of prostitution?

So today I want to talk about marriage.

Not high on my set of goals in life, but then again being a 19 year old university student miserably failing her French modules probably really affects my opinion.

Nevertheless, it's a matter that's been on my mind since a cousin of mine recently got engaged, the feminist lecture I sat in on last month and then hearing the phrase "marriage is a form of prostitution". So let me get out my thoughts on this wonderful blog of mine and avoid learning French conjugation eh?

The definition of prostitution according to oxforddictionaries.com is "the unworthy or corrupt use of one's talents for personal or financial gain". It can apply to marriage in many ways, for example if you have no sustainable income of your own, maybe your husband is just a tool used for financial forms and your relationship consists of using your talents as a housewife, or cook to keep your husband happy and have access to his funds. But in my opinion it's all about mental respect. If your husband/wife respects you and treats you as their equal there isn't anything "unworthy or corrupt" about your talents. And surely you aren't gaining anything out of it either because marriage should not be about financial gains but it can often come down to it.

I'm confusing myself a little here. What I'm saying is that a form of prostitution in marriage can only exist if you allow yourself to be unequal to your partner regardless of if you're male or female. To a certain point I agree with this statement, because everywhere around me all I see is marriage as a dead end without and escape route. People are stuck in it because of financial reasons, or because of emotional ones (i.e. children). I guess I just have to see more successful marriages built on love that seems to last (that last bit made my insides cringe a little), on mutual agreements and respect.

Maybe after thinking about this I'm not all opposed to marriage. Marriages shouldn't have a hierarchy but that often tends to be the case and sadly it often seems to work out. I guess a marriage is really what you make of it. I am the quietly stubborn kind of person who wouldn't be satisfied if I didn't get the respect I deserved and be infuriated if I wasn't an equal in any sort of personal relationship. So if marriage really is a "form of prostitution" it isn't for me and all those other individuals who have the same views as me.

Just some thoughts from a hesitant borderline feminist. Feel free to agree/disagree in the comments section (if I've got one!)

À bientôt.