Sunday 3 August 2014

How not to lose your virginity

1) With a stranger



No, no! Don't do it! Trust me from experience, it's not fun, it's not pretty the next morning, and it's never a good story to tell your future boyfriend when he questions how you lost your v card. 

As corny as it sounds, wouldn't you rather have sex with someone you're comfortable?

2) With some douchebag/play/BNOC (big name on campus)



You will expect great sex but it will be mediocre at best. He does not care about you, he merely wants to add to his sex-count, and he will probably have no idea what he is doing. Because BNOC's generally have no problem getting laid, therefore it is not about pleasing you, it is about pleasing him.

3) Drunk


When you feel dizzy and slightly nauseous, it's not the best idea to lose your virginity. Being sick on someone during intercourse sure is memorable but not in all the right ways. Not remembering who the guy was that you lost your virginity to isn't a great idea either. 


4) With the LAD



Or more specifically, someone so very keen to be a lad, and tries awfully hard to be one as well. You will notice this specimen through the following traits: a desire to prove their masculinity to other males, a vague smell of insecurity in their manhood, and of course the constant repetition of the word, lad.

"Terry is such a lad cause he downed that pint."
"Ben slept with that slut from last night, what a lad!"
"I can't believe you flipped her off mate, you're such a lad."

Unless of course this is your type of guy.


To each their own. Chacun à son goût.


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